Big brother

The other day Noah asked to hold the baby. Look at his face! So proud. He finds it hard to have to share mummy so much, and sometimes that frustration turns into random biting or hitting moments - normally close to bedtime when he is becoming tired. But otherwise he is a good brother. He cuddles with Leo, gives him the pacifier when he cries, rocks him when he is in the carseat (on the floor) and likes to help changing his nappy.
So far, Leo is a very content baby. Three weeks old on Tuesday and he mostly sleeps still. He is starting to become more awake and he loves to spend his awake time face to face, talking. When you talk to him he listens carefully, almost like a puppy, turning his head from side to to side as if to tune in to what you're saying. His eyes go wide open when you talk in different voices, cklick your tongue or do other noises. He loves it. He cries mostly when he is hungry and we haven't had many hours unconsolable cries.
Somethingelse that he likesis going for walks. He sleeps easily in the pram and seems to enjoy being outside. It is fine, because the rest of us do too. Noah likes the leaves, twigs and pine-needles on the ground and I enjoy the pretty views. We've had terrible weather the last week, but a few sunny days thankfully.
I don't feel ready for the darkness and the cold though. Summer went by way too quick and with too few sunny, warm days. How come summer always felt like an eternity as a child, but now it feels like a short week?
Anyway, it's a new week tomorrow. Hopefully we get more sunny days so we can go outside!


So small

It's amazing and quite scary that he is already starting to grow out of this "new born" look. At least to me. The little squished face is looking rounder and smoother, his eyes are bigger and brighter and the size 50 clothes are already starting to feel just a little tight. Babies grow too fast, can someone stop the time?
Two weeks old today and so far he has been a very content baby without much fuss, except for tonight when he cried for about 1½ is stressful, and even moreso when Noah gets anxious because of it.. Ah well, babies tend to cry a lot in the evenings so it's best to just get used to it.
Last week we had some nice weather and Noah stayed at home with us all week to get some time to settle in with our new family member. We spent quite some time outside, playing in the garden and going for walks while Chris cleared some more of the fallen trees.
It has been a hard time for Noah to suddenly lose so much of my attention. The first few days he tried to push Leo off my lap and was rather rowdy in order to get attention. He can still be. But he seems to have gotten more used to his little baby brother and he evenasks to hold him now. Last night when Leo was crying, Noah tried to soothe him by reading him a book, which was super cute!
One of our biggest challenges right now is to remember that Noah is still very small, and to not put too much expectations on him behaving well and orderly all the time. He is only 2 years old, and that's a very tough age to become an older sibling. Not old enough yet to understand all the changes, but big enough for parents to expect a lot. We must remeber to lower our demands on him. That doesn't mean permit everything, but to have some understanding and empathy. Much of his "misbehaviour" right now comes down to only one thing: not wanting to feel left out. 
I'm very happy that Chris is able to be at home a lot more now, I don't if I could have coped otherwise!

Little brother enters the world...

My birth story with Leo is probably quite a bit shorter than with Noah - which you can read here
Like I said in my previous post, the mucous plug came loose on September 17th, my due date. Google kindly told me to expect labour to start shortly after the plug and gone so I started to feel both excited and a little sad. This pregnancy was coming to an end. Pregnancy is such a strange thing. The discomfort, pains and aches it causes at the end makes you wish for it to be over with, and you are longing to see your baby. At the same time it is such a special feeling to have a baby in your belly, to feel it kick, hickup, move and stir. You know it won't last and it's not someting you'll experience loads of times in your life (unless you're one of those people who gets lots of kids). 
I must also mention the slight sadness and melancholy of knowing that your one on one time with your first born is coming to an end. I felt really sad and worried about the fact that Noah wasn't going to be the only one anymore. I still do in a way. I miss sleeping next to him and I sort of feel like I have abandoned him.
Anyway, back to my birth story.
Chris decided to stay at home from work the next day because it might just start anytime. I woke up with a sensation that it wasn't going to be long at all. I took Noah to play-school at 9 am and then I came home and told Chris: I think it will happentonight. 
As Chris and Micke worked in the garden, I did some paperwork and book keeping to make sure it was all up to date in case it would happen soon. Then I mowed the lawn for a little bit but had to stop because my pelvic was too uncomfortable and I was feeling quite tired.
I picked Noah up at 2 pm and came home and sat in the garden watching everyone work ;-) Around 4 pm Chris decided to take down a tree on the slope and expected it to fall across the garden, so he asked me to keep Noah away. Not so easy with a chainsaw loving boy... I stood by the apple tree with him in my arms, and watched how Chris cut the tree. Unfortunately the tree didn't swayed towards the houses (!) and swayed back and then just stopped. And pain in my belly. "ok" I thought to myself, that was a contraction. So I took Noah inside and locked the doors so he wouldn't get out and I did some housework. 10 minutes between contractions and they weren't extremely strong. I could still walk around and talk normally, although they hurt. I told mum it had started and that she should probably come that evening.
Thankfully Chris and Micke J managed to get the tree down safely and at 6 pm we ordered pizza (which I wasn't at all in the mood for - but noone was in the mood for cooking, haha). I struggled to eat as my contractions got closer together and stronger. Shortly after dinner, mum and Micke arrived and my struggles were quickly getting real. I sat quietly on the sofa, breathing through my contractions and timing them on my phone. At 8.15 I call the delivery ward and the midwife didn't even suggest to me to stay at home any longer, it was me who said I could wait a little more. At 8.45 I said to Chris that we needed to go because my contractions were getting really strong and painful, with only 2-3 minutes apart. 
We arrived at the hospital at 9.40 but it took me a good 10 minutes to walk all the way to the delivery ward. Unlike last time I didn't have to wait for an examination and the midwife stated that I was 4 cms open..."hm" I thought, "not more than that?". She asked if I wanted gas and air and yes yes yes, of course I did because these contractions were ruthless. Lying there with that mask against my face and hardly any rest between each contraction I started to feel like I wanted an epidural. Because if I was only open 4 cms, to me all I knew from before was that with Noah I opened about 1 cm per hours, which meant I had quite a few hours left to go!
The midwife told me that she could prepare the intravenous needle, but she had a feeling my contractions were so intense because labourwas moving forward fast. She examined me again and this time I was 6 cms open....only about 45 minutes later than the first examination. I thought to myself that I could do this without epidural if it was going to be fast. I trusted the midwife, but damn it hurt alot! I even broke the gas and air mask at one point because I pushed it to hard at my face!
At 23.40 I was open 8 cms, and at 00.09 I was open 10 cms and started to feel the need to push. It was so strange and different from when I had Noah. That time I really felt the transition between the different types of contractions, but this time the need to push just sort of crept up on me. Sneaky.
During the second or third push my water broke (and literally splashed everywhere, hahaha) and a push later the head was coming through....yay, the famous ring of fire, and yes it does feel exactly like that. Two more pushes and at 00.22 he was lying on my tummy.
Born on September 19th. He cried for ages, unlike Noah who only just squeeked a bit, and he lied on my chest looking straight to my face for a long time before bothering about finding the breast. I had to have a few stitches but nothing too drastic and I was given anaestatic so it wasn't too bad. The placenta was also delivered as it should and it was all over with so fast! 
I really didn't expect it to be so "easy", since last time I struggled with pushing for like an hour and all. It was more painful, but it was easier and less straining. 
He felt so tiny, both me and Chris thought he was going to weigh less than Noah, but he was actually 60 grams heavier at 3715 grams ;) 51 cms tall and head was 35 cms... He has my hands and feet, darker hair than Noah and elvish ears, hehe. 
I will definately try to be better at updating now because I truly feel like I'm losing grip of my memories. I need to write down my experiences and the little things that make me smile and that I would like to remember. So much falls into lost space that you wish you'd remembered....